Old counseling theories would posit that severing emotional ties to the deceased was the "healthiest" way to process loss, but today we understand that to be a more maladaptive approach. As the saying goes- when you know better you do better. Today we recognize the importance of investing in a continuing bond with lost loved ones. Below are some ideas on how to do just that.
Wear something that belonged to your loved one to feel close to them (clothing/jewelry)
Make a playlist of their favorite songs and listen in memory of them
Make a recipe they were known to make often
Eat their favorite foods/ at their favorite restaurants
Watch their favorite movie/ tv show
Look at pictures of your loved one
Make a scrapbook filled with memorabilia that represents your loved one and the moments you spent together
Read letters and cards written by your loved one
Read their favorite books
Visit locations they traveled, or places you visited together
Continue any traditions you valued with them
Intentionally celebrate significant days (buy/make a birthday cake on their birthday each year, eat a slice of wedding cake on wedding anniversaries)
Collect something they enjoyed collecting
Make a donation in their memory
Volunteer at a charity they were connected with
Display an item they treasured or created in your home
Purchase/create a Christmas ornament that reminds you of them
Share stories of your favorite moments experienced with your loved one/ ask others who knew them about some of their favorite or funny memories
Consider a symbol you can connect to in memory of your loved one (for example: If their favorite animal was a horse, then each time you see a horse you can have an opportunity to think of them.)
Care for and display any inherited items
Consider admirable characteristics you have today that your loved one also exhibited and find ways/opportunities to express these qualities
Teach someone a skill that your loved one taught you
Play your loved one's favorite game
Shop at your loved one's favorite stores and considering buying an item you believe they would have purchased
Participate one of your loved one's hobbies (fishing, hiking, painting, pickle ball, baking etc)
Attend a performance your loved one would have enjoyed (broadway, ballet, orchestra, baseball game etc)
Find a candle, cologne, or perfume that reminds you of smells you associate with your loved one
Plant a flower or tree in memory of your loved one
Did your loved one have a value based saying that they frequently quoted? Consider making the phrase into wall art and display it in your home. (For example: Growing up my dad would frequently say "Always remain teachable")
To quote my favorite character in the Harry Potter series, "The ones that love us never really leave us. You can always find them in here (in your heart)" - Sirius Black. There is such truth in that statement. People leave a legacy in the way they left their mark on us and on the world we live in. This connection can live on for ourselves and generations beyond us. Investing in a continuing bond is a beautiful investment. I hope these ideas are helpful to you as you integrate the memory of your loved one into the present and future.