Postpartum Wellness

The transition to parenthood can be a rocky road. Self‑care is NOT selfish—it’s essential and responsible. The better you care for yourself, the better you can care for your baby. Here are some ideas for postpartum wellness:

Practice emotional regulation tools.

Your nervous system is biologically wired to be activated by your baby’s cries—in fact, you’re more activated by your baby’s crying than by your baby’s laughter. The maternal brain changes to work more efficiently. Brain changes are most intense with your first baby. The prefrontal cortex (responsible for executive functioning: logic, planning, rational thinking) shrinks and becomes less active, while the feeling centers of the brain light up to support bonding. This is something to marvel at—your body is designed to respond to your baby’s specific needs. It can also present some challenges: hello mom brain, decision fatigue, and emotional dysregulation. With the logic center less active and the emotional centers highly sensitive, emotional regulation tools are crucial to help calm your nervous system and prevent burnout. Examples include mindfulness (especially self‑compassion), breathing exercises (like box breathing), progressive muscle relaxation, and grounding with cold water or ice (stimulates the vagus nerve to elicit the relaxation response). Even brief use can help you access pockets of calm in a chaotic season.

Spend 10–15 minutes a day doing something just for you, by yourself.

You may feel touched out and overstimulated. A small break can reset your nervous system. Get outside, stretch or do gentle yoga, listen to music, journal, or do your skincare routine—anything restorative that helps you reconnect with yourself.

Call another mom who’s been through it.

It can be so validating to hear: “This feels hard because it’s a brutal season—it’s nothing you’re doing wrong. It makes total sense that it’s hard to wake up and be instantly needed. I felt the same way. Feeding your baby is such an emotional roller coaster. It can feel defeating when you haven’t figured out how to soothe your baby yet.” Shared sorrow is half the sorrow. Knowing you aren’t alone can bring comfort when you need it most.

Practice receiving.

“It takes a village” is true—none of us do this alone. You’re in a receiving season. If you naturally take on helping or giving roles, it can be uncomfortable to be on the other side. Self‑care here means accepting help that makes your life easier and doing so without criticizing yourself for needing it. You need it because you’re giving so much to your baby. Give yourself the grace to let others care for you and your baby. You likely have a visceral response to your baby’s cries and feel relief when your baby is soothed. The maternal brain lights up in the same areas of the brain that light up with OCD (ritual of check on baby-get relief develops). Your body and brain need you to allow others to help. Withstand the discomfort of letting a trusted person step in from time to time. The temporary distress of not being the one to soothe your baby is worth preventing burnout.

Get 4–5 hours of uninterrupted sleep as soon as possible.

Sleep is the best emotional regulation tool in this tender time. If given the option between sleep, exercise, laundry, or another task while away from baby or during naps—CHOOSE SLEEP. Brainstorm with those helping you on how to best take shifts to maximize sleep. During these shifts, consider sleeping in a different room than your baby (newborns are surprisingly noisy sleepers).

Get out of the house.

A change of scenery can support your well‑being. It’s easy to get overwhelmed with timing feedings, wake windows, and disrupted sleep to the point you feel like a prisoner in your own home. Honor your comfort level—leave home with or without your baby. To build confidence, you can simply grab coffee in a drive though. Being in the community, even briefly, can help you feel human again.

Daily, acknowledge accomplishments (even if they feel tiny).

How many diapers did you change today? How many times did you feed your baby? How many outfit changes happened? How much did you hold your baby and help them feel safe, soothed, and comforted? How many bottles or pump parts did you clean that show your baby is being nourished by you? Did you rock or sing your baby to sleep? Did you learn something new? Did you and your partner find a small win that went better today than yesterday? Did you do one small thing for yourself—making room for both the old you and the you you’re becoming? All of these are important wins. It’s easy to bypass them and find yourself thinking, “I’ve gotten nothing done today”. Naming these accomplishments helps you see the volume and importance of how you’ve shown up and all you’ve conquered in a single day.

Consider connecting with a counselor.

Adjusting to parenthood is a wild transformation and identity shift. A metaphor shared with me that I found helpful was: Imagine all parts of your identity as slices that make a whole pie. When you become a mom, its kind of like the entirety of the pie is one big "mom" slice. There is so much demanded of you and your life has changed in a monumental way. As you grow in this new identity, overtime you build out all the other slices of your identity with the "mom" part integrated in. Becoming a parent can also bring up old wounds of how you were parented. If you had a difficult pregnancy or traumatic birth counseling can be a place to grieve, process, and integrate these experiences. Connecting with a counselor you trust can be a safe space to hold and process the brutal and beautiful parts of parenting, and help you to feel like a sturdy parent who enjoys this new chapter.