The following myths often create barriers for seeking professional counseling services. Let's debunk these myths together! Your wellness is worth pursuing!
Myth #1: Counseling is only for severe issues, “crazy people”, diagnosed mental illness, or couples on the brink of divorce.
While counseling is beneficial to those facing a crisis or critical issue, these are not requirements to seek out counseling services. In fact, I often hear clients say they wish they had started counseling much sooner. Counseling is beneficial for a number of reasons beyond a current trial filled season or chronic issue, and can be a proactive intervention to prevent potential issues from emerging in the future. This kind of counseling experience may be described as primary prevention or maintenance. The purpose of maintenance can be any combination of the following: increase self-awareness, develop more effective coping mechanisms, improve conflict resolution, establish more effective communication, increase relationship satisfaction, personal growth, and more.
Myth #2: Prayer and the strength of one’s faith can and should be the only place to seek healing and can effectively replace a counseling experience.
If your faith is a part of your worldview you may have been told in so many words that “More prayer and a stronger faith is all you should need to overcome a particular problem or circumstance.” If you have heard this message you may feel shame for seeking help outside of the church. However, we know that God is not a God of shame. It’s crucial to debunk this myth and provide hope that a combination of faith and counseling is possible. Just as Jesus uses the hands of surgeons to heal the body, Jesus speaks through counseling professionals to heal emotional wounds. Prayer is powerful. A counseling experience with a trained, empathetic professional is powerful. Both utilized together can propel one toward healing.
Myth #3: Counseling is for the weak
Actually the opposite is true. Seeking out counseling requires a certain amount of courage to initiate change. In all effective counseling encounters vulnerability is present. With vulnerability is the presence of bravery and the strength to share one’s truth. In her book Daring Greatly, Brenè Brown equated fighting shame to Harry Potter's defense against the dark arts.
Counseling is not for the weak, its for the warrior.
Myth #4: Counselors are advice givers
Often the purpose of counseling is to facilitate greater awareness of where a solution resides within the client. Counselors operate as fellow travelers on the journey toward client goals rather than all-knowing experts. When clients can independently (with encouragement, guidance, and support) claim victory over an issue, they are more empowered to tackle a future trial.
Myth #5: Counselors and the counseling experience are accurately depicted in the media
Films and television shows frequently display counselors as inappropriately involved with clients outside of a professional relationship. Counselors are bound to ethical and legal codes of conduct. Unfortunately, violations to these codes do exist, but rarely to the exaggerated degree shown in the media. The counseling experience is often shown with an individual laying on a couch while a counselor passively engages with the individual and authoritatively writes on a notepad. In true counseling experiences, most environments are warm and welcoming with an actively present counselor. Clients are free to make themselves comfortable (I’ve had clients take shoes off before starting a session), but laying down on a couch is not required or expected.
Myth #6: Counselors main method of responding is “How does that make you feel?”
This question represents another stereotype shown in the media. Feelings are a topic explored in counseling, but they are not the only topic. Further, this question is an inept way to initiate a conversation about feelings. Counselors engage in communication with clients in a variety of ways with questions, reflections, clarifications, experiential activities, confrontation, establishing goals and more.
Myth #7: “I’ve (we’ve) been to counseling before and it didn’t work, so it wont work this time”
Counseling is an art as much as it is a science. What I mean by this is that the counseling process is influenced both by who the counselor is and how the counselor was trained. It is possible that previous unsuccessful counseling attempts “didn’t work” because the counselor’s personality and style was not a good fit for you. It is also crucial to understand that not all counselors are trained the same. For example, going to counseling for addiction issues with a counselor who specializes in grief counseling will likely not be beneficial. Going to marital counseling with a counselor who is only trained in individual counseling will also likely not be fully beneficial. When choosing a counselor, ask questions about the counselor’s credentials and how they were trained to better ensure a successful counseling experience. Additionally, as the saying goes, "you get out of it what you put in." Therapeutic progress depends greatly on client's consistent participation and application both inside and outside of the counseling room. Client resistance usually is the neon sign pointing to the most significant work needing attention. In a safe, compassionate, and honest therapeutic relationship issues surrounding client resistance can be navigated well.
Myth #8: The counseling process is problem focused with pain and dark emotions as the primary topic
Although it is important for the entire spectrum of emotions to be freely (and effectively) expressed, counseling is not about becoming more stuck in the presenting issue. The counseling process is focused on what the client needs to get out of the experience for the purpose of no longer needing to attend counseling. For this reason, client goals, dreams, achievements, strengths, and-- an awareness, acceptance, and expression of these often become the focus of sessions.
Myth #9: All Faith based counselors will impose their values on me
If faith is not part of your belief system and you do not want faith to be incorporated into your counseling experience you can make this known to your counselor. It is your counselor's ethical responsibility to respect this desire. If faith is apart of your belief system, but you fear counselor values being imposed on you please know that it is our job as counselors to empower you to make decisions and live in congruence with your values. Counselors are people and hold their own opinions and values, but it is ethically and morally corrupt to force value systems onto clients.
Myth #10: Counseling is a long and expensive process
Counseling is an emotional and financial investment. However, if finances are a concern a number of options exist. These options may include: a shorter session time, less frequency of sessions (not recommended for crisis situations), seeing a provisionally licensed counselor or counseling intern, or referral to a center that uses an income based sliding scale. It is often said that counseling is the one field of which its purpose is to put itself out of business. Essentially, this means that the purpose of counseling encounters is to launch clients, so that what happens in the counseling room is something they have learned to create for themselves in their world outside of session. Depending on the presenting issue, the client(s) level of investment/ activity, and the timing of intervention, perhaps a limited number of sessions will be needed.